"C'mon buddy, this is simple stuff, you should not struggle with this. You are 9 years old now!" Way to many times I have said that or something similar to my son. He is a '3rd grader' doing work in the 1st-early 2nd grade range (except for Science, he is doing 6th grade science work without the writing) I have come to realizes a few things.
1) They WILL learn when they are ready. I have had countless people tell me that. While I agreed in theory, when it came to MY child it went in one ear and out the other.
2) Its okay if they are not 'where they should be'. Really, it is!
Why is it so hard to believe advice for other peoples kids when logically you know that advice is spot-on, but when it comes to your own child you (I in this case) just cannot accept it? Why do we feel the urge to make sure our kids are 'where they should be?' What does that even mean? Who sets these standards? Your children (and mine) ARE where they should be if you are diligent to keep working with them. Some kids just take longer. It is as simple as that. Sure, we can push and push but what does that accomplish? For me, it accomplished nothing but tears and frustration. And so much frustration for my son... My poor son who I expected things from that he just was not capable of yet. :(
Why does all logic go out the door when it is your child? I am one who can give amazing advice when it comes to other people's children. Good, logically sound advice. But when it comes to my own, I go into panic mode.
"But he can't do __________ and he still can't ______________, and he should be able to _____________ by this age."
I can fill those blanks in with MANY different things. Finally I had to force myself to take a step back, and look at what he couldn't do a month ago that he can do now. Wow! It was amazing. So I took it a big step farther and looked at what he couldn't do a year ago. Mind.Blown. Seriously! He is learning and improving in so many areas, but I totally failed to see it because I was focused on what he couldn't do. It takes him a bit longer to be ready to learn something, but once he is ready he learns it well.
When you really think about it, what is the harm in learning basic math facts at 8 or 9 instead of 5 or 6? No, he will not be in college level courses at 12 or 13 and you know what? That is okay! That is not what God intended for him. That is not what I want for my kids. I want my kids to learn at their pace and in own special learning style. (Each kid has a different learning style, that is for sure!) I want my kids to be kids while they can. I say that all the time, and yet I continue to push them into stuff that they are not ready for academically. I have this horrible problem of looking at what other peoples kids are doing that mine are not. But you know what? MY kids are doing some pretty amazing things that other peoples kids are not! (so there :P )
I am writing all this to encourage those whose kids are not 'where they should be' (that is a dirty phrase in this house ;) ). If you are diligently working with your kids then they ARE where they should be! Its okay! Play some educational games. Have fun! You won't have this opportunity for long. Don't stress. It WILL happen when the time is right. For some that is sooner than others. That is ok! It really is!
